Sometimes

Sometimes I perceive it as real
Sometimes I perceive it as fake
I want to believe it is the first
I ask you which it is but you say the first
Yet you always push me to the second
You torture me
You know how I feel
Yet you still push towards the second

I’ve made this same mistake for a good bit
I’ve had chances to stop it
Quarrel after quarrel
Yet we come together again

Was this a mistake?